Junkie

JUNKIE

I need a fix. A little red heart will do. But the real high comes from the red square with the head-and-shoulders icon: a new follower on Instagram. That’s the good stuff.

As good as it feels, I never really enjoy it. As soon as it hits, I’m thinking about the next one. And the next one. And the next one.

This is the darker side of my love/hate relationship with social media.

I want to make more connections, engage with a larger community, and find new outlets for my work. I don’t want to be constantly checking my phone to see if anybody likes me.

Some people I’ve met through Instagram have turned into real, flesh-and-blood friends. We’ve built things together. We’ve traveled together. We’ve struggled and grown together. These connections have had an incredible impact on my life. This is the best part of social media. But for every positive aspect of social media, there’s a shadow side - this endless cycle of chasing likes and follows.

Some recent posts created an uptick in activity on my account. As the ‘likes’ and ‘follows’ rolled in, I found myself checking my phone constantly, like I was checking the score of a football game I’d gambled the mortgage on. Now that the impact of those posts has died down, and the flow of notifications has slowed to a trickle, it feels like something is missing. What can I post to get that rush back?

I don’t like that feeling.

Is there a way to grow your audience without becoming addicted to that growth?

Does social media feel like a tool for growth or a leash around your neck?