Pills

I have a problem with pills.

I’ve been dealing with the effects of Lyme Disease for a long time. Every day for the last six years I’ve had a regimen of pills to take: a handful with breakfast and a few bonus pills before bed.

The problem is, I keep forgetting to take them.

You’d think that after six years, taking them would be as automatic as brushing my teeth. But I still have to keep the pill bottles in plain sight on the kitchen counter or there’s a real risk I’ll forget to take them before I head out the door in the morning. 

I think it’s because I don’t identify as someone that has to take pills. I haven’t internalized that as part of my identity. Maybe I’m actively resisting it. If I don’t take the pills then I’m not someone who needs them. It’s an unconscious form of avoidance.

The kicker is, the pills make me feel great. Since I’ve been taking them my health has improved dramatically. The pills are working. And still, part of me is actively resisting them. 

It could just be me, but I think many of us experience this peculiar phenomenon in other aspects of our lives. 

We often avoid asking ourselves the big questions like the ones in Shelley’s questionnaire. To do that, I had to reconnect with my vision for Norton Stoneworks. I had to take a sober look at where I am, how I got here, and where I want to go. I had to put my dreams to paper and put them out into the world. That can be scary shit.

As creatives, we need to do this difficult work on a regular basis. Many of us don’t spend enough time with these questions to fully embody them. We know it’s good for us, but often we forget to take our pills.