House Warming

Small talk has never come easily to me. Unless it’s about dogs or rocks, I never know what to say at parties. 

At a housewarming this weekend, I made a point to avoid talking shop. These design professionals are colleagues, and I didn’t want anyone feeling like they were still at the office.

There’s often a wall between designers and builders. We’re in the same industry, working on the same projects, but it’s like we’re distant cousins at a wedding—related but unsure what to talk about. 

Some draw rocks on paper, some break them with sledgehammers.

On Saturday I didn’t feel any separation from working on opposite sides of a blueprint. I felt like I was with my peers. 

Maybe that’s because I no longer see myself as just a tradesman. I do work in the trades, but it doesn’t define me the way it used to.

Not that long ago, I would have felt anxious at a housewarming like this. I wouldn’t have been able to ignore the fact that these designers could possibly send some great projects my way. I would have been trying too hard to say the right thing and make the right impression. I would have been so focused on that, I might have missed the afternoon light on the meadow behind the barn, the kids taking turns dragging each other across the lawn on a sled, the three large dogs chasing and being chased.

On Saturday, I wasn’t trying to get anything from anyone. I wasn’t trying to appear professional or make a certain impression. Maybe I’ll work with some of them in the future. Maybe not. I was just enjoying a housewarming on a beautiful October afternoon.

There’s a certain freedom in that shift—a relaxed indifference.